Miss Darcy's Companion: A Pride and Prejudice Variation by Joana Starnes

Author:Joana Starnes [Starnes, Joana]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2016-05-09T22:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 12

The guests had left, even Fitzwilliam, and Pemberley returned to its quiet ways, but none of its tranquillity. At least not for Darcy. There was no hope for the old tranquillity, now that everything had changed.

His cousin had kindly offered to remain behind for a short while at least, but he had declined. What purpose could that possibly have served? Forthright discussions late into the night, over brandy, might have offered temporary palliation and the relief of speaking the unvarnished truth, but Darcy fully expected them to turn into repetitive vexation before long. Harping on like a pair of old women was not the answer, and truth be told he could not have borne his cousin’s probing, much as he appreciated his affection and concern. Nor his discreet scrutiny either, as he struggled to decide on his course of action and weigh the unsettling stirrings of his heart against everything he had been taught to value since he was old enough for reason.

Even without a knowing presence in the room, it was the greatest effort to watch himself over every word, look or gesture, now that nothing about his interactions with Elizabeth could be natural any more. Elizabeth. Not Miss Bennet any longer, but Elizabeth.

He could not even address her without a sudden flash of panic that he had lapsed and called her by her Christian name. And it would have been little wonder if he had. The formal ‘Miss Bennet’ was alien to every feeling. She was ‘Elizabeth’ to him now in every waking thought.

And the thoughts circled, burning as they went. Circled endlessly. No respite.

Had he utterly lost his senses to even consider marrying his sister’s companion – a girl in his employ? What would this do to his good name, his standing in society? To Georgiana’s prospects? To all that was Pemberley?

His lineage deserved better. A vast deal better. As did the estate entrusted into his temporary custody. It should be passed to offspring of good stock. His children should–

His children should be loved – and she would love them. Her gentle warmth for Hetty and Margaret, for Georgiana even, who was a child no longer and yet had flourished in her tender care. Those perfect months at the beginning of the autumn. The companionship. The cheerful repartee. The laughter. Try as he might, he could not remember having felt as happy in all his adult years, at Pemberley or elsewhere, and as thoroughly at peace than in those fleeting months of blissful harmony.

He grimaced. A fool’s paradise. He should have sensed the lurking dangers and seen it could not last. And it had not. The peace had slipped away, long before this time of turmoil. The ease and joy had slowly ebbed a little more each day, as her damnable reserve had grown, leaving him baffled. Leaving him yearning, he could see it now, for the return of those happy days that had vanished without reason. Without warning.

He scoffed. What sort of insanity made him

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